Miss Manners, aka Judith Martin, has been instructing generations of readers on all matters concerning civility. In her most recent book, she contemplates social mores in a post-pandemic era. For instance, she notes how everyone used to carry a handkerchief; nowadays, they should not step out without an emergency mask. The foundation of her rules is still to always avoid insulting people, whether in the office or elsewhere.
Even as the impact of COVID-19 has receded in our daily lives, workplace behavior has adjusted. While most traditional standards still apply, the virus has reshaped conventional interpersonal encounters.
Decorum for all seasons
Most of the polite practices observed throughout our lifetimes remain as valid as ever. In the workplace, as elsewhere, most people are expected to follow an unwritten code of rules, based on common sense, good manners and respect.
The niceties of etiquette vary among industries and individual businesses, but some common behaviors have been, and will remain, office norms. When they are on duty (and hopefully after hours too), employees should:
- Use dignified language and avoid swearing.
- Pronounce coworkers’ and associates’ names correctly.
- Bring a respectful sense of humor to each occasion.
- Dress appropriately.
- Be on the early side for meetings and conversations.
Here is perhaps the most critical commandment: If you are unwell, stay home. It is not heroic to infect other workers. Prior to COVID-19, many took unwarranted pride in struggling into their offices while nursing a full-blown cold or worse. And the best proactive advice is to get a flu shot to protect yourself.
You can tactfully inquire about vaccine status. It is not a Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act violation to ask a fellow worker whether they are vaccinated, but the American Disabilities Act forbids companies from disclosing specific employees’ health information.
Some elementary directives should guide office interactions, pandemic or not, including:
- Avoid too many personal conversations from your desk.
- Gossip at your own peril; you risk being judged as untrustworthy or a nonteam player.
- Don’t talk back glibly to your boss, even if you are about the same age.
- Don’t drink heavily at company outings, even if you are hoping that equally tipsy coworkers may not notice.
- Tuck away an umbrella, spare shoes and clothing.
- Never, ever hit “reply all” to emails; you won’t be forgiven.
- Use a professional-sounding second email address in case you suddenly need to give one.
- Don’t douse yourself in heavy scents or colognes.
New post-pandemic etiquette
Many businesses and their employees have adapted to a remote work or hybrid environment, but in-personal meetings and gatherings will continue. For some,m hugs and handshakes may still be taboo. If you are thinking of bumping elbows, remember that someone may have just coughed into their elbow — also known as a “vampire sneeze.” Besides, elbow bumping frankly looks batty. A friendly wave can suffice. Be ready to admit to your own awkwardness about shaking hands or hovering at a distance. If you really prefer that someone wear a mask, you could use an excuse you are protecting your immunocompromised family.
Be cautious about “popping in” to say hi and asking to borrow pens or staplers. It would be gracious, however, to introduce yourself to any new hires or perhaps invite them to join your regular groups for lunch. At lunch, though, be careful about sitting directly across from others.
Taking the elevator to your office? If a crowd surges at 8:59 a.m., you may get some nasty looks if you squeeze in too tightly. Follow management’s distancing suggestions. Entire offices may have shifted their layouts over the past couple of years to accommodate the 6-foot spacing guidance in conference rooms, restrooms, cafeterias and shared spaces. Employees are encouraged to keep apart when they are getting coffee or using microwaves. You will appear responsible if you use wipes to disinfect controls, faucets or fridges. You might even want to bring your own mugs and dishes.
While a public health emergency no longer dominates daily life, office etiquette can still provide benefits from hard-learned pandemic lessons.
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